A Study in Mediocrity

By: Tom B | April 17th, 2009

My excellent tactical experiment, playiung lopsided, didn’t work particularly well. But it equally was not as poor as it could have been. The key problem was that no-one was there to get on the end of the crosses. I am comparing these results to my first two friendlies, which were unmitigated successes. Now, results wise, I won all these friendlies, and deservedly so. However, they were against weaker opponents so more width and attack should have worked far better than it did.

My first game was against Eldense, a piddly little club worth EU 275,000 and who charge EU 9 for a ticket to one of their games. We lined up like so:

We won 3-1 but it was really a situation which posed more questions than it answered, Gonzalez set up a goal and got 7.2, but the game was played almost exclusively in their half. I don’t think it added anything that the 5-3-1-1 wouldn’t have given.

The experiment came undone a little against C.D.Varea. A pissant (even more pissant than Adelaide) amateur side worth EU 24,000. Shane Daley, Liverpool’s 26 year old English goalkeeper, could buy their whole club 3.7 times over a week. They’re so rubbish they have a parent club which is smaller than me, and I’m the smallest Spanish team in the game. Somehow, they brought my weird lopsided formation to its knees. I started of by trying to slot Gonzalez as an attack minded CM giving him freedom and an instruction to cross. This didn’t work at all as they dominated the first 10 minutes, so 15 minutes in I reverted to lopsided formation. This was an unheralded disaster as I conceded in the 18th and 25th minutes. Lopsided was persisted with until 1/2 time and then dispensed with. I went on to win 4-3, and let the team know how disappointed I was with this.

I stuck with the lopsidedness for the final 2 friendlies, 4-2 and 4-0 wins against very weak sides Portugalete and Univ. Zarazoga, and I’m officially not convinced enough to change my 5-3-1-1 for the opening day of the season.

Player Profile
Shane Daley – Liverpool FC – The highest paid footballer in the invented world.
Firstly, I normally wouldn’t look up players’ stats, but I made an exception as I wanted to prove how rubbish Varea are and there is also no chance I’ll actually sign him, so in the interests of good theatre, here are his stats.

It’s pretty amazing that a keeper should hold the title as world’s highest paid player. This makes me happy (as I play in goal), but his stats are something to behold. Does he also look a little like he could pass for scouse? Either way, he definitely doesn’t look like he’s 6′4″.

A couple of quirky things about him, his favoured clubs are Red Star Belgrade and RC Lens of Ligue 2, his other nationality is Cameroonian and he made his debut against Andorra.

Next Entry:
Training, now remebering that all bar 2 of my squad are on part time contracts I’m in a quandry, should I train each player to their strengths (ie make the quick quicker, the aerially strong stronger, the passers better etc) or should I try and lift up the key stats which are weakest (for example teach Antonio, my fifteen year old Centre Back with heading 3 how to head the ball). I know I have the idea of J Hod telling me to train everyone in Long Shots, so currently that is winning unless I have suggestions to the contrary.

I’ll probably next post on about Tuesday, so let me know before then in the comments section. Thankyou avid readers, you will do a better Assistant’s Job than Pablo Fernandez.