I’ve been a touch obsessed with Mr Koller for a while now (thus my affection for Dortmund in the Bundesliga) and why I have a #9 AS Monaco 3rd strip from 2 years ago with the great man’s name on the back.

They also want to loan me Jérémy Dazzan:

I’m still in negotiations with Joel Kiki – he wants €400 per week now, he rejected €275 so now I offered him €375.

I’ve also signed a scout – Valentin Oliviera -Judging ability and potential of 10.
Robbie Coltraine would be pleased with me signing someone called Valentin

He’s from the coummunity of Tourcoing – and has a full knowledge of France, and a decent working knowledge of Belgium and England. I sent him out to scout the good (and mediocre) footballers in France.

v

So, after your (Dhaw’s) useful advice, I feel I’m finally ready to face my first challenge, a 418km away trip to Rodez Aveyron Football, or RAF.

My scout went and watched them train, and told me that their pitch is narrow, they play 4-4-2, and that Jérémy Choplin their left sided fullback/midfielder is their main threat. However, I think that I can just tell Turtle Man at Right Back to mark him tightly. I released a comment that Choplin is “almost impossible to stop” on the advice of my assistant (we’ll see how that turn out) apparently because he can’t withstand the pressure of media scrutiny. He also told me to tightly mark their attacking central midfielder and left winger, however, my coach strongly disagreed with this. Who am I to play favourites?

Watching them train

My backroom staff assure me that we have a height and strength advantage, whereas we are disadvantaged in fitness (good to know late in the match), dribbling and flair. Industrial football it is, maybe the lads were onto something when they said that we must be strong to win matches.

So, the bookies had me as slight 2.75 outsiders, and RAF had home advantage. The weather was gusty with a temp of 24 degrees (C), and the referee was one Mr Gaël Lecellier fom Paris. I think he is Graham Poll in disguise, because his personality was media friendly, confrontational and outspoken.

So, in my pre-match instructions I told my lads to clomp down on Choplin and instruct my team “they can win tonight”.

So to the match action:
I started off on the back foot, with RAF having a couple of pops, before slowly resting control from my opponents and creating a couple of good chances from crosses. Then in the 26th minute, Gautier Diafutua received the ball with his back to goal 30 yards out, turned and drilled one into the top corner. MAGIC! The rest of the half was somewhat of a non-event, with them fashioning one chance from a corner which was squandered by the striker under heavy pressure from Jean-Baptiste Paternotte. At half time I encouraged my charges, then shouted at them to retain possession, as RAF controlled much of the last 10 minutes of the first half.

After a couple of drives from range, before they created an overlap down their left and a good deep cross was just headed wide. In response, the Dragon Boy nodded in at the back post, but it was ruled out for offside. So with 72 minutes gone, the game was basically in lockdown, and I was faced with the challenge, sit back and invite pressure or keep chasing the game with my Standard instruction? I decided to keep it the same, but replaced the flagging Gallon with Nadir Oudjedi. It almost had instant effect with Diafutua through one on one with the keeper, but from a narrow angle he it it straight at their waiting goalie.

My keeper Vanni then had an amazing freakout. Watching the ball bounce over his head and into the path of the onrushing striker. Again Paternotte was able to clear the danger from the cross, but then it was headed back at goal and Vanni then watched the ball… slowly… loop… against… his… crossbar. Zemzemi was then able to hack it away to safety. Not a situation for keeping one’s hair (pun intended). With 7 minutes left I took off Diafutua for Segredo, a holding midfielder, playing a 4-1-4-1 and slowed the tempo, increased time wasting and dropped my defensive line. I also told my players to clear the ball to the flanks, hold possession, pass the ball to feet and work the ball into the box. RAF were then only able to fashion 1 chance from the last kick of the game, which was blazed over.

So, my first win, here’s a breakdown of what happened

The fans were happy

and here’s how we scored:

So, onwards and upwards I suppose.

My theory is that it will turn almost to a 4-4-1-1 when N’Diaye drops off, and with two holding midfielders I should have good solidity. My two key concerns are that the wingers do not give anything coming back, and that there will not be a creative spark from midfield. However, with the squad I’ve assembled, nothing seems able to combat this.

My team will be instructed as so:

With player roles and duties as so:

Goalkeeper – Julien Vanni – Goalkeeper – Defend
Right Back – Tertulien (Turtle Man) Denga – Full Back – Automatic
Left Back – Ameth Biaye – Wing Back – Support
Centre Back – Jean Baptiste Paternotte – Central Defender – Stopper
Centre Back – Medji Zemzemi – Central Defender – Cover
Left Midfield – Christophe Maraninchi – Winger – Attack
Right Midfield – Clément Dragon (Dragon Boy) – Winger – Attack
Centre Midfielder – Johan Gallon (on loan) – Deep Lying Playmaker – Support
Centre Midfielder – Nabil Bounab – Central Midfielder – Defend
Striker – Ibrahima N’Diaye – Deep Lying Forward – Support
Striker – Gautier Diafutua – Advanced Forward – Attack.

Which gives me 3 Attack, 3 Defend and 4 Support Roles.

The only individual instruction I’m tweaking at the moment is setting Gautier Diafutua on lots of long shots, to exploit his 16 rating.

Please, please let me know any way you think I can improve this… I await with baited breath. It is deliberately basic, as I don’t want to stress the poor guys too much.

In other news, I had the pre-match press conference, and I have a new friend. Well the friendship with Christophe Demange of the Hyères Football Free Press – well the friendship at the moment is solely one way, he is “indifferent” towards me. But indifferent is not negative, and I’ll take that as a positive (my Kevin Keegan moment for the day). If you look him up on facebook, you’ll see his profile pic matches his friendly and good-humoured disposition.

He was friendly and good humoured enough to ask how my relegation rivals would fare, but I am far too clever to be drawn into this. NO COMMENT!

I, as I obsessivley do in my FM saves, have set my training schedules the week before the first game. They are as follows:

Goalkeepers –

Centre Halves

Full Backs

Centre Mids – Def

Centre Mids – Att

Wingers

Strikers Strong

Strikers Quick

Yeah, I concede, this post might be a bit boring, but it is a guide as to what I’m doing behind the scenes. Next up is my tactical analysis and pre-first-match press conference.

In other news, I’ve been given promotion odds of 41.00, which means I’m a rank outsider for promotion, I’ve offered the lads high cup and league performance bonuses, and named my new recruit, Jean-Baptiste Patternote captain.

Now to the Teamsheet

I’m playing a 4-4-2, so will go through the starters in each position, then the subs. There really isn’t much to talk about outside that, so I will be looking to add to the squad heavily should the opportunity arise.

Goalkeeper – Julien Vanni
He is something of a weak link, he has handling 11, and reflexes 13, and not bad physical stats. However, there is not much else to write home about, and he has some mental deficiencies, so I’ll be looking to replace him with someone of more class ASAP.

Right Back – Tertulien (Turtle Man) Denga
A converted centre back, he’s an athlete (pace 14, strength 11 and accelleration 13), and a strong centre back with tackling 10, marking 10 and heading 11. Going forward, however, he adds little, if any quality. His crossing (3) and dribbling (5) are abysmal, he can’t pick a pass (8) and his reading of the game leaves a lot to be desired (positioning 9 and anticipation 9).

Left Back – Ameth Biaye
At the start of the season, my somewhat inept assistant manager said he was my best player at the start of pre-season. He was right. Aerobically he’s very good, with a range of 11s-14s, and going backwards he’s no problem at all, with tackling and marking of 11. His positioning could be a little better (9), but he makes up for it with anticipation (14), workrate (13) and teamwork (13). His concentration, composure and decisions are all excellent 13. Going forward he packs a punch, with crossing and dribbling (12 and 7) and he can even take long throws and set pieces should the need arise.

Centre Back – Jean Baptiste Paternotte
My new captain and lynch-pin. See last post for a breakdown of his stats.

Centre Back – Medji Zemzemi
Old head, 32 year old, who is again a no-nonsense defender. His passing is only 8, his flair 3, but he can tackle (14), mark (10) and head (14) the ball, is brave, can concentrate and makes good decisions (all 14). Physically, he’s a touch slow (9) but he makes up for it with anticipation and positioning (both 11). He is balanced (14) and is strong (14), so will not be bullied off many balls.

Left Winger – Christophe Maraninchi
His position is listed as AM (L or C), and you can tell why – tackling 3, marking 4. However, for the time being he can run up and down the left flank for me. He will be ably supported by Biaye, so I suppose he can be a little weak, but I would dearly love to replace him. He’s OK going forward (crossing 9, dribbling 12), not very quick (pace 10) except over the first yard (acceleration 13). He can’t really pass the ball effectively (9) and in the words of my dear assistant “is a fairly selfish player”. – Not one for the long term

Right Winger – Clément Dragon (Dragon Boy)
This guy seems a pretty serviceable winger. He is quick enough for this league – pace 14, acceleration 11, agility 11. Can cross (9) and beat his man (dribbling 11). He is creative (12), makes good decisions (11) and has a bit of flair (12). Again he’s not much going back (tackling 4, marking 4) or in the air (heading 6), but I can see him in the role for the medium to long term.

Centre Midfielder (provisional) – Johan Gallon (31 year old DM/MC offered on loan from FC Istres)
I’m hoping to play Johan as a deep lying playmaker. He can pick a pass (13) and has a good first touch of 14, he isn’t shy of a tackle (9). His composure and creativity (12) are supplemented by his positioning and teamwork (11 & 13). Physically, he’s doing well for his age, as highlighted by his balance (14) and acceleration (13).

Centre Midfielder – Nabil Bounab
I’m hoping to play Nabil , my French (declared) Algerian as central midfielder role with a defend duty. He is solid enough, but is no long term solution. He doesn’t add that much defensive stability, but equally, he wouldn’t add much offensively. He’s much of a muchness, not awful, not good, and will be moved on soon enough.

Striker – Ibrahima N’Diaye
We met Ibrahima a couple of posts ago, but in order to be a little more specific, the 6′0″ Senegalese will play as a deep lying forward, and will use his strength (14), technique, longshots (both 12) and creativity (11) to either fashion chances for his strike partner, or disrupt and create space for him.

Striker – Gautier Diafutua
Again, one we’ve met already, however, he’ll be utilised in the role of advanced forward. Using his pace (13) and acceleration (14) to get in a good off the ball position (12) to finish (only 10). Otherwise, he’ll have a crack from range with his long shots of 16.

Bench
Goalkeeper – Laurent Fernaud
Good in the Air (aerial ability 13), but no other stat above 11.

Defender R/C – Mathias Di Mondo
Not that good defensively (tackling 7, marking 7), but good in the air (jumping 10 heading 12). Is rubbish on the ball (passing 8), poor mentally (anticipation 7, positioning 9, concentration 7). Doesn’t add much except in the air.

Defensive Midfielder, Midfielder Centre – Jérôme Segreto
Basically Nabil Bounab, but not quite as good defensively or technically.

Midfielder – Nadir Oudjedi
This guy is pretty weak, technically, but his physical stills are strong and his mental skills top notch, especially for a 23 year old. Not bad a cover at the moment, and I’ll probably ditch Jérôme Segreto before I ditch dear Nadir. Bizarely, he is also a coach, with pretty weak skills.

Striker – Tony Patrao
Quicker that N’Diaye, but not quite so skilled. Would be a decent stop-gap in both the striking positions. This guy would probably be good enough to start should one of the others

I desparately need cover on the wings (preferrably a side midfielder), a left and right back, and some creativity at the centre of midfield.

For another crazy stat – I found out that last season we were promoted with 100 points, out of the CFA – B league.

So I have been exploiting my huge wage budget by hitting up a couple of quality free signings.

First, I hit up Gauthier Diafutua, a pacy striker who is French of Congolese descent. He was born in Levallois-Perret, a community in the North-West of Paris. He’ll pack a threat from outside the box, with long shots of 16, however, I don’t think he is intelligent enough to play as a link up striker, instead I think I’ll keep him as an advanced striker (or even poacher), with long shots set to high. I’m only paying him €350 a week, so if he sits out matches when I choose to use 1 striker, so be it.

The other player I signed, who is quite an exciting prospect, is Jean-Baptiste Paternotte. He is a 28, from the north of France, in a city of 100 000 people called Compiègne.

He will become my Jamie Carragher. What he lacks in pace and capacity with the ball at his feet, he makes up for in mental attributesm ability to read the game, organise the defence and win the ball back. He is the archetypal “limited defender”. The fans were very excited with him as a prospect, exhalting me with adulation.

I’ve settled on a tried and true 4-4-2, with some quite good results against Ligue 2 opposition, and even beating Olympique de Marseille’s reserve side.

I’m still in the hunt for a central midfielder, a fullback and a right winger, but I now have 3 servicable strikers, which is a huge improvement on the 1 I started with.

Finally, I have Joel Kiki on trial at the minute, and was wondering if you guys thought he was worth signing? He’s young, almost as good as Paternotte, but I’m just unsure as to whether I want another “uncultured” defender in my ranks. He’s asking for €350 a week, which isn’t very much, but I’m not sure he’s adding much to the squad either.

Sign Joel Kiki?(opinion)

For next time – my final friendly, followed by a squad and tactical analysis, ready for the big kick off.

Without delay, I was whisked off to meet 4 journalists, who asked what questions you’d expect, including about any potential language difficulties

Awkwardness aside – I then had a cursory glance over my squad, who were running around the pitch doing push ups, squats, sit ups, and not really kicking many footballs. I asked them why? They said they needed to be big and strong to win football games. I assured them I’d be bringing some culture to the south of France, and that no team of mine would play “English hoofball”. They looked confused, and even more confused when I asked them to do simple ball drills, of which many of them were incapable. Alors, I muttered to myself, I must improve this squad if I am to fulfill my promise to the board.

So I sent out my scouts, knowing that my weakest positions were centre back, the centre of midfield and the left of midfield. Equally, I lacked cover in the fullbacks. So with no transfer budget (I cancelled those in the pre-game settings) but a fat wad of wages to spend I sent out my scouts to look at a few players my coaching staff had recommended:

and then happily went in search of some others.

To date, I have only signed Ibrahima N’Diaye who I happily unveiled to the waiting media pack of 3.

Before unveiling my first signing, however, I played in a friendly loss to Besançon RC, a CFA side, losing 1-0 but I learnt a thing or two about my playing squad (and who needs to join my playing squad).

I’m not going to be able to post for a couple of days as I’m going into hospital for a knee reconstruction. If you guys (and ladies?) like I’ll keep you posted on how the rehab is going as well as the progress of Hyeres.

So, with an ostensible sense of deja vu, after receiving a phone call from Gérard Daziano, saying that there had been a falling out at Hyeres FC with their promotion winning manager Patrick Bruzzichessi.

In his absence, they’d (somehow) heard that I’d stopped playing football due to my knee injury, and that they were willing to take a punt on an unkown Australian manager, with 1 pre-season semi-professional football match under his belt.

So, at the drop of a hat, I hopped on a plane from Perth International Airport, waved goodbye to my folks (brought my francophone girlfriend), prayed that the 3 terms of French classes I’ve sat this year pay off and that I could steer Hyères FC clear of Relegation, and plot our path to glory. Upon arriving at the Aéroport Nice Côte d’Azur, I then hopped on a train, through the beautiful countryside of Provence, to the historic down of Hyeres.

So, after meeting Monsieur Daziano, who said that I should probably keep us clear of relegation, or else there would be trouble, and for my trouble I’d be duly compensated with €850 per week. I was then ushered into a small room under the grandstand, where I met with my assistant, Monsieur Patrick Deguis. He decided it would be best to send me scouting after a couple of strikers, apparently we have a shortage there, before letting me know the strengths and weaknesses of the side. He then suggested 4-5-1, 4-4-2 or 4-2-3-1 as the best formation available.

I was then asked how I thought I’d do – to which I nervously and conservatively blurted out that I’d keep us out of the relegation zone come next May.

I then dipped my toe into board negotiations, politely writing out a document which asked “Je veux mieux établissements pour les jeunes, svp?” – to which they said – “of course, and next time, please ask in English”. I was somewhat embarrassed, and very happy that I
a) could have better youth facilities, and
b) conduct negotiations in English from now on.

My game crashed last night, something wrong with the file.

No problems. I’ll start again. Lucky I hadn’t got very far in.

Then my Ass-man (now sacked) came along and suggested that we had depth in the team,

and that, all in all, we werent very good.

So, I had a look at my squad, and realised we lacked any real cover (or any at all) at left back, right back, up front, and were pretty weak in the centre of midfield. So basically I have OK centre halves and

Therefore targets for signings are a left back, right back, central midfielders and another target man.

I then sacked my assistant, sacked my physio (rating 4/20) and signed 2 players, Christophe Ettori, an experienced holding midfielder.

Stupidly, I made him my captain, and faced a mini mutiny. But the mini munity that followed was completely unjustified, as the captain I replaced was the 8th best centre midfielder at the club. In order to stoke the flames I sent him to the reserves and transfer listed him. Way to assert myself on the club.

The other signing is a little more exciting, Yamoudou Camara. A young centre back who can cover as a holding or central midfielder. I scouted him after the French Trialists’ game, and he wanted rather high wages, but that’s OK as he’ll definitely come up to at least Ligue 2 with me as well (should we be so lucky).

Given my squad’s weaknesses, I settled on a 4 2 3 1 with a central midfielder instead of an attacking central midfielder. This is still a work in progress, but with a target man centre forward, I’m looking to be tight in the middle and look for my creativity to come from the attacking 3.

Pre-season results were as follows, but I didn’t play my strongest squad for full games, often starting with a weak squad, due to fitness concerns (I’m not a fan of starting players who have condition in the 50s).

So – onwards to the season proper, the odds are as follows